


Blueberry Muffins

by mild_mannered_apricot



Category: Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party - Fandom
Genre: 1 to 100 real quick, Gen, One Shot, Reader-Insert, based on Ultimate Sandwich, i can only write in second person pov now, idk some shit goes down, writing reader-insert has ruined me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 17:11:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16685713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mild_mannered_apricot/pseuds/mild_mannered_apricot
Summary: Working as Ninja Sex Party's secretary/unofficial maid has it's ups and downs, but what happens when Danny goes too far?





	Blueberry Muffins

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to the Ultimate Sandwich and I got inspired. Enjoy!

You had been the acting secretary/maid of Ninja Sex Party for a good while now, and while it wasn’t the best job you’d ever had, it wasn’t the worst either. It paid well, you got free room and board, and the ninjas weren’t… too difficult to get along with. As long as you dealt with Ninja Brian’s constant murder sprees and Danny’s failed attempts to flirt with you, it was manageable. There had only been one time that you had seriously considered quitting, and that was The Muffin Incident. Still to this day you refused to speak about it.

It had been a relatively normal Monday, that fateful day that it happened. You had just finished a shit ton of paperwork, and you decided to celebrate by making some muffins. Being the cheap lazy bitch you were, you decided to use a box mix rather than making it from scratch. You felt a sense of calm as you tied on your favorite apron and set to work mixing the ingredients together. The sunlight streamed through the windows and outlined your face, making you smile as you scooped the batter into a muffin pan and placed it in the oven. In thirty minutes your blueberry muffins would be done. Safe to say, you were unreasonably excited, a smile on your face as you left to go do the laundry.

Thirty minutes later you took the muffins carefully from the oven and set them out to cool, setting the timer to ten minutes. You left the room for ten minutes… ten minutes. When you returned, Danny was in the room, sitting inconspicuously at the table. You thought nothing of it, choosing instead to go pick up a muffin. You took a moment to smell it, savoring the smell of fresh muffin, mixed with another smell that smelled vaguely like sex? Well, the entire house smelled like sex. You had gotten used to it.

You grinned. Time to partake in this glorious blueberry muffin. Leaning against the kitchen counter, you took a big bite. It tasted like heaven.

“Uh, y/n?” you heard Dan say. You turned around to acknowledge him as you started chewing. He looked mildly sheepish. “So..there’s this sandwich.”

You nodded slowly, not sure where this was going.

“I’m gonna fuck it.”

Your eyebrows raised. That’s where that was going.

“And I was thinking I’d need practice… so I might have fucked your blueberry muffins.”

Your eyes widened. You pointed at your mouth.

“Yes, even the one you’re eating.”

You slowly opened your mouth and let the half-chewed blob of food fall to the table along with the muffin in your hand. You took a deep breath. You knew where the knives were without even having to look. Danny stood up and backed away as you approached him, knife in hand. 

“Look, I’m sorry.” he said, obviously scared.

“Sorry doesn’t cut it.” You said, grabbing his wrist and stabbing him. He immediately started crying as you removed the knife and let him go. “Stop whining, it’s only a shoulder wound.” You said, turning around and shouting, “BRIAN!”

The ninja appeared beside you in a puff of smoke. You didn’t even flinch. He took in the situation, Danny clutching his shoulder as blood seeped out, you with a bloody knife in your hand. You could have sworn there were stars in his eyes, he looked so proud.

You gestured to Danny. “Can you stitch him up? I don’t want him bleeding all over the kitchen.” Brian nodded and moved to do that as you put the knife down on the table and moved to pick up the muffins. Not losing eye contact with Danny, you went over to the trashcan and stared him straight in the eye as you turned over the tray and dumped the muffins in the trash.

Danny looked terrified, but you weren’t done. Putting the tray in the sink as you walked back across the kitchen, you grabbed the bloody knife off the counter and approached Danny, who had just finished getting stitched up.

You marched up to him and grabbed the front of his kimono, holding the bloody knife close to his face. Your voice lowered to a growl. “If you ever fuck my muffins, or any of my other food ever again, I will take great pleasure in very slowly and painfully chopping off your dick. I hope you think about that next time you try to do something like this ever again.” You slowly moved away from him. “If you need me, I’ll be in my room.” You dropped the knife in the sink as you exited, leaving behind a terrified Danny Sexbang and a overjoyed Ninja Brian.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a few months ago when I was still pretty involved in the NSP/Grumps fandom. I was planning on writing more one-shots along the lines of this, as the reader being NSP's secretary/maid, and post them all in one book, but seeing as I probably won't be writing any more Grumps fanfic I've decided to just post this as a one-shot.
> 
> Thanks for the read! :)


End file.
